You can’t blame gravity for falling in love. "Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they... 2. Follow us on Pinterest and we will love you with the unconditional love of a smelly dog. – Andy Warhol, 85. – Johnny Carson, 168. – Thomas Dewar, 29. Love is the answer, but while you’re waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions. Lily Tomlin, 10 Women need a reason to have sex. Love is a fire. – J.A. Erich Segal, 54 Love is a fire. My wife is really sentimental. Girls cry their eyes out until they are dry, while boys drink their beers until their mugs are all dried up. I love you more than coffee, but please don’t make me prove it. Arturo Toscanini, 62 Being a good husband is like being a stand-up comic. – Socrates, 160. Looking for the best funny phrases and wise words to sayings about life. 1. In doing it, a writer chooses to forgo original authorship so as to play havoc with a foreign original in a process of imitation, zigzagging between the foreign and receiving languages but in the last analysis canceling the first in favor of the second.” If you love this post make sure to check out: 177 Cute Quotes, 300+ of the Best Love Quotes to Say I Love You and, Travel Quotes: 134 Short Travel Quotes for Your Instagram Caption. – Hussein Nishah, 118. Love is sharing your popcorn. I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. Wow, All the quotes are just awesome. According to Newton’s Law of love, love can neither be created nor destroyed. – Paul Valery, 144. When people ask me what is more important, food or love, I don’t answer because I’m eating. Funny quips about love. Throwing funny and cute words of love to your partner gives a whole new meaning to your relationship. It wasn’t love at first sight. Love is like finding a needle in a haystack. Check out these funny love quotes that all couples can relate to. Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love. – Groucho Marx, 13. But it’s a pleasurable one. 1 Love is sharing your popcorn. Love is a sweet dream and marriage is the alarm clock. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell. – Will Ferrell, 87. “Winston, if you were my husband, I’d put poison in your coffee. Judith Viorst, 72 Marriage is not just spiritual communion and passionate embraces; marriage is also three-meals-a-day and remembering to carry out the trash. – David Bissonette, 145. Love is the same as like except you feel sexier. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” Jackie Mason – Chris Rock You’ll discover the funniest lines ever on friends, family, love, women, men, fun (with great images). I am sure that you & your Friends, Families will like this WhatsApp Quote & Status. 24. 18. 90. 94. If you hear bells, get your ears checked. I’m now making a Jewish porno film. Rodney Dangerfield, 49 What’s the best way to have your husband remember your anniversary? It’s worth a thousand and more. Judith Viorst, 6 A kiss is a rosy dot over the “I” of loving. You can’t put a price tag on love. – Larry David, 111. Joan Rivers, 9 If love is the answer, could you rephrase the questions? – Erich Segal. Jewish Proverb, Check Out The Best Funny Marriage Jokes That Will Make You Laugh, 12 I was married by a judge. Love is when the other person’s happiness is more important than your own. Now allbestmessages.co take care all your needs for quotes. I want someone who will pause his game just to answer my call. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile. – Joyce Brothers. – Chelsea Peretti, 86. I just get an apple and clean clothes every morning. You’re just like bacon, beer and chocolate – you make everything better. A man falls in love through his eyes, a woman through her ears. – Richard Pryor, 103. Romantic love is mental illness. If you text ‘I love you’ to a person and the person writes back an emoji — no matter what that emoji is, they don’t love you back. – Lemony Snicket, 151. … Read More... about Participate in Research. Love is like a headache or a backache. I wish there’s a traffic light to tell me when to stop, go and slow down when I took this road of falling in love. Love is a lot like a backache: it doesn’t show up on X-rays, but you know it’s there. Cute Funny Love Quotes for Her: We can choose to be funny in a relationship, it is a choice. This choice is highly recommended in any relationship and this should be noted anywhere. True love is like ghosts, which everyone talks about and few have seen. The poor bastard might be lost, stuck in an island or something. 171. “Love is the only gold.” – Alfred Lord Tennyson. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell. Men just need a place. Looking for the best romantic love quotes pictures, photos & images? Spanish Proverb, 14 I went to a meeting for premature ejaculators. – Henry Youngman, 155. – Mark W. Boyer, 129. True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. 32. Men marry women hoping they will not. Love is blind but marriage is a real eye-opener. Here are 60 short and funny motivational quotes to help brighten your day: 60 Short & Funny Motivational Quotes 1. 92. Staying in love with the same person for you’re the rest of your life is a miracle. Love is like a tornado, picks you up off your feet and sometimes takes half your house. 41. I want to be your sweet good morning, your lovely good night and your most painful goodbye. 2. Our research team do research and collect best quotes at one place. About 30 pounds. 120 Best Funny Pick Up Lines My wife was afraid of the dark… then she saw me naked and now she’s afraid of the light. He was healthy right up to the time he killed himself. If you can fake that, you’re in. Fran Lebowitz, Continue reading these funny romantic quotes below, 20 I thought I was promiscuous, but it turns out I was just thorough. Fran Lebowitz, 24 Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you enjoyed reading this page, follow him on, 35 Funny Spongebob Roasts, Quotes, And Jokes, 99+ Really Funny Comebacks, Insults, & Burns List, 60 Top Abraham Lincoln Famous Quotes You Need To Know, 30 Top Tao Te Ching Quotes You Need To Know, Ultimate Emmy Noether Biography With Interesting Facts, 93 Funny One Liner Jokes So Good You'll Laugh Till You Cry, 37 Best Anthony Jeselnik Jokes & Quotes That Will Make You LOL, 55 Best Mitch Hedberg Quotes & Jokes That Will Make You LOL, 55 Best Funny Irish Blessings, Sayings, & Proverbs, 35 Best Funny Drinking Toasts For Friends You Need To Know, 15 Funny Insulting Names To Call Your Friends & More To Know, 49 Most Savage Roasts And Jokes List That Will Shut All Jerks Up, 99+ [Unique] Funny & Serious Dog Names You Need To Know. Miles Davis, 75 My wife, Mary, and I have been married for forty-seven years, and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never. Garry Shandling, 40 Marriage is like vitamins: we supplement each other’s minimum daily requirements. There’s no denying that … – Cindy Garner, 59. Cindy Garner, 50 Love is the answer, but while you’re waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions. My mind works great wonder 365 days a year, 7 days a week and 24 hours a day until I met you. I was married by a judge. Marriage is a great institution for those who like institutions. Johnny Carson, 66 Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you’re offered the perfect opportunity to hurt someone’s feelings. – Joan Crawford, 116. 128. I’ll do the dishes. 159. Adventures in Dating: Memoirs of a Single Mom, Adventures in Dating: Memoirs of Midlife Relationships. In love, somehow, a man’s heart is always either exceeding the speed limit, or getting parked in the wrong place. My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on. 74. By all means marry. “Your voice is my favorite sound.” Love is an ocean of emotions entirely surrounded by expenses. I wasn’t kissing her, I was whispering in her mouth. – Henny Youngman, 92. If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. When my head says ‘I don’t care, my heart says ‘I do care’. 2. –  Jean Kerr, 16. You’ll know a person is in love when he can laugh like a fool by himself and keeps a goofy smile plastered on his face all day long. One Valentine’s Day I gave her a ring and to this day she has never forgotten those three little words that were engraved inside — Made in Taiwan! Short quotes are extremely helpful too bad time. The great question which I have not been able to answer… is, “What does a woman want? Love is telling someone their hair extensions are showing. 43. I love being married. 40. We include Love, Funny, Cool, Attitude, Sad, Romantic Status for you. – Fran Lebowitz. 77 Best Funny Love Quotes 7. Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with someone long-term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family. 104. Men just need a place. – Leopold Fetchner, 2. Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again? It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. If you can fake that, you’re in. Agatha Christie, 61 I kissed my first girl and smoked my first cigarette on the same day. 47. 58. Contents1 funny quotes about life2 inspirational quotes about life3 quotes to live by4 funny quotes and sayings5 famous quotes about life6 best quotes about life7 life is short quotes8 funny things to say9 funny quotes about love10 funny best friend quotes11 great quotes about life12 life is good quotes13 funny quotes about friends14 funny sayings […] He believes in bringing about positive change to the world through good-natured humor and innovative technology. Helen Gurley Brown, 64 Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning a handspring or eating with chopsticks; it looks easy until you try it. 89. I love you no matter what you do, but do you have to do so much of it? – Charles M. Schulz, 33. It took a full five minutes. All of them are awesome. cute funny sayings for him and short fun loving quotes. – Jewish Proverbangerfield, 123. Love doesn’t drop on you unexpectedly; you have to give off signals, sort of like an amateur radio operator. I just get an apple and clean clothes every morning. – George Burns. Love is a fire. If you are a fan of Spider Man, you may be familiar with these quotes. Every weekend I do what I love most, absolutely nothing. 127. – Lily Tomlin, 95. – Albert Einstein, 150. – Franklin P. Jones, 54. 57. Joan Crawford, 55 I love being married. Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers. Love is blind but marriage is a real eye-opener. 26. funny catch phrases to say to a girl having fun in a relationship quotes. • Some relationships are like Tom and Jerry, they argue and disagree all the time, but they still can't live without each other. The more she turned right the more I turned wrong. I kissed my first girl and smoked my first cigarette on the same day. But it’s a pleasurable one. When you mix your words and actions with a little humor, your loved one will find your moments together more memorable and special. Women hope men will change after marriage, but they don’t; men hope women won’t change, but they do. A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. Love quotes pictures for him. Tim Allen, 37 My brother is gay and my parents don’t care, as long as he marries a doctor. Don’t make love by the garden gate, love is blind but the neighbors ain’t. funny relationship quote on cute funny quotes about life. Short funny love quotes for her Collection Inspiring; 4. – Elayne Boosler, 107. ~ Charles Schultz. While reading, really enjoyed a lot. My brother is gay and my parents don’t care, as long as he marries a doctor. 73. This collection of short funny quotes will pep up your mood and brighten up your spirit, and is bound to have you in splits! If love is a blunder, then it means that the biggest fault in my life is loving you. If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question? Phyllis Diller, 27 Don’t make love by the garden gate, love is blind but the neighbors ain’t. A man in love is not complete until he is married. I went to a meeting for premature ejaculators. Albert Einstein, 22 If you can stay in love for more than two years, you’re on something. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery. Paul Valery. 166. To be with a person you adore the most already brings a smile to your face. – FaithHopeNLove, 122. 23. – Fran Lebowitz, 132. You can stop driving me crazy, I can walk from here. If you were my wife, I’d drink it.” – Winston Churchill funny quote True love is inexhaustible; the more you give, the more you have. – Ambrose Bierce, 152. Cerano de Bergerac, 7 I wasn’t kissing her, I was whispering in her mouth! “If you want to be loved, be lovable.” – Ovid. 27 Best President Jokes Then he is finished. It does not show in the MRI or X-ray, but you just know that it’s there. – Phyllis Diller, 5. He gave her a look that you could have poured on a waffle. Love is the only kind of fire which is never covered by insurance. – Joan Crawford, 146. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn’t always go with everything else. – Billy Crystal, 112. Subscribe To Our Newsletter! If you hear bells, get your ears checked. *Amazon and the Amazon logo are trademarks of Amazon.com, Inc., or its affiliates. You are the cause why my eyeglasses fog. – Cathy Carlyle. Pearl Bailey, 17 If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question? Anonymous, 32 Love with old men is as the sun upon the snow, it dazzles more than it warms. Love is fun but, it is not going to pay the bills. There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments. 65. He loves film, comedy, and innovative technology. Will Ferrell, 69 If you text ‘I love you’ to a person and the person writes back an emoji — no matter what that emoji is, they don’t love you back. 67. Anonymous, 48 My wife was afraid of the dark… then she saw me naked and now she’s afraid of the light. A kiss without a mustache is like an egg without salt. There is no “try”. Woody Allen, 51 If only one could tell true love from false love as one can tell mushrooms from toadstools. Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby- awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess. Women love a self-confident bald man. It elevates the thoughts and flattens the stomach. 28 Marriage is like pantyhose. I solemnly swear I am up to no good especially when I am all alone with you. – George Burns, 30. – Rodney D, 121. If only one could tell true love from false love as one can tell mushrooms from toadstools. – Freud, 139. A person in love partly becomes a poet, a composer and the corniest person in the room. – Coleridge, 154. Stop texting me in the middle of texting you, now I have to change my text. However, it can create a girlfriend who can destroy wallets. 91. I will write the WhatsApp Quote & Status myself to make the Status site more unique and good looking than other places. – George Burns, 99. – Jackie Mason, 3. Remember, our parents taught us to give the things we don’t need to the less fortunate. – Ring Lardner, 15. Go and find him. Bettina Arndt, 53 True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. Will Ferrell Says Test Them With Slow Internet “Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are.” - Will Ferrell Oh yeah, this brings out the worst in people. Promise yourself not to be a woman who needs a man to live, but a woman a man needs. Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties. 8. – Spanish Proverb, 14. If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket or a holding pattern over Philadelphia. Marriage is like pantyhose. – Professor Irwin Corey. My phone battery lasts longer than most of my relationships nowadays. I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on. – Jimmy Durante. – Erich Segal, 130. My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Love is a mutual self-giving which ends in self-recovery. I love you so much I’d fight a bear for you. – Bree Luckey, 120. Marrying a man is like buying something you’ve been admiring for a long time in a shop window.